This quote stuck by C. Joybell C. stuck out to me and reminded me how powerful spending time alone is: “The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” We all have the unique and beautiful power to take time for ourselves, to step back from our typical routine and focus on ourselves even for a few hours.

Audrey Hepburn also has the right idea: “I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning  alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.” Amen, sista.

Today, I want to encourage you to find time to spend alone sometime in the near future. I think you’ll find the experience to be rewarding, relaxing and simply awesome. Here’s my advice on how to have a “me day”:

• first things first, plan out your “me day” – and don’t feel guilty about it. put it in your schedule. i will always, always, always have things to do – and i’ve learned it’s my responsibility to set up the specific day and time that i can truly be alone
• wake up in the morning but but stay in bed. no need to rush. enjoy the quiet and sweet
• stretch! i prefer 10 or so minutes of yoga in complete silence
• enjoy hot coffee or tea in bed and pull out your journal. i prefer to journal every morning, but find it especially valuable on my days spent alone. i like to write down things i’m thankful for and things that bring me joy.
• do something silly and out of the ordinary. a few examples: finger paint, dance in your pajamas, break into spontaneous cartwheels in the yard, sing in the shower, go down the slide at the park. do anything that makes you feel like a child again.
• take a walk. soak up the beauty and quiet and peace — be on the lookout for things that are always around you that you might not typically take the time to enjoy {the pink and purple blossoms on the trees, the bright blue sky full of fluffy clouds, the squeal of laughter from the little girl swinging in the park…}
• stay away from your computer and cell phone.
• treat yourself! whether it’s getting your nails done, buying yourself a new piece of jewelry or just splurging on an XL caramel macchiato at your favorite coffee shop, make sure to do something that is out of the ordinary on your day alone
• pray/meditate. “me days” are a wonderful time to reflect – and spend more time doing this than a typical day.
• get some quality reading in. do you have a book you’ve started but haven’t quite finished? today’s the day!
• DON’T check things off your to-do list — obligations and responsibilities can wait. try the best you can to focus on you, your mind, you
• enjoy a comforting meal – with or without your good book. my go-to for “andi days” is sushi {not at all surprising if you know me at all.}
• bubble bath!!! enough said. preferably with candles, though.

1. Don’t smoke.

2. Don’t date or marry a man who smokes.

3. Don’t worry about the boy you love at 13 who won’t love you back. At 30, you won’t remember his last name.

4. Do, however, worry a little about the boy you love at 24. He might become your husband, as your dad became mine. But if he doesn’t, that’s ok, too. You are only 24.

5. Learn only the basics in math. The quadratic equation will not come in handy. And I will not sweat you for it, I promise.

6. At your wedding, should you choose to go that route, spend the most money on your photographer and your rings.

7. Don’t get in cars with drunk people. Call home instead, no matter the time or how old you are. Ask for your dad.

8. Don’t stress about the cool kids. The less you care about them, the more they will care about you. And don’t let them talk you into smoking.

9. Intern. We will help with the rent while you do.

10. Don’t be defeated by “no.” You will hear it many times before you hear “yes.” Clearly, we are prepping you for that nice and early.

11. Don’t wear too much bronzer. And groom your eyebrows, but don’t go too thin. But you CAN sleep with your makeup on, really, it’s no big deal.

12. Don’t just be nice to your brother. Be his best friend, his biggest supporter, and his most constructive critic. Be the same to yourself.

13. Work really hard in your 20s, 30s and 40s, so that you hopefully won’t have to after that. But play really hard, too. Without smoking.

14. You can’t change people. Not men, not your friends, not your mother. Accept the ones you want to accept, move on from the ones you don’t (except your mother, of course). You won’t look back, I promise.

15. Know that the right music can change any mood.

16. Go to Paris. And then go again. And then go again.

17. Spend money on expensive shoes, handbags and jewelry. Don’t waste it on expensive makeup and jeans.

18. Create a memory box. Keep it small, and throw out everything else. Your prized possessions will edit themselves.

19. Don’t worry if you can’t cook. Some things are just genetic. You won’t starve.

20. You can hate me sometimes. And I can hate you sometimes. As long as we both remember that underneath all that hate, there is a love like no other.

Have a wonderful Wednesday! xx

1. It’s better to sing off key than not to sing at all.

2. Promptness shows respect.

3. You can’t avoid offending people from time to time. When you don’t mean it, apologize. When you do mean it, accept the consequences.

6. The most valuable thing to have is a good reputation, and it’s neither hard nor expensive to acquire one: Be fair. Be honest. Be trustworthy. Be generous. Respect others.

8. Don’t be bothered when people don’t share your tastes in music, sports, literature, food and fashion. Be glad. You’d never get tickets to anything otherwise.

9. Cough syrup doesn’t work.

10. Empathy is the greatest virtue. From it, all virtues flow. Without it, all virtues are an act.

12. Keeping perspective is the greatest key to happiness. From a distance, even a bumpy road looks smooth.

15. It may not feel like it, but it’s good luck when you have people at home and at work who aren’t afraid to tell you when you’re wrong.

16. It’s 10 times easier to fall in love than to stay in love. And no matter what the sad songs say about romance, broken hearts do mend.

17. Don’t waste your breath proclaiming what’s really important to you. How you spend your time says it all.

19. It’s never a shame when you admit you don’t know something, and often a shame when you assume that you do.

20. Wounds heal faster under bandages than they do in the open air.

21. Fear of failure is a ticket to mediocrity. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not pushing yourself. And if you’re not pushing yourself, you’re coasting.

24. If you’re in a conversation and you’re not asking questions, then it’s not a conversation, it’s a monologue.

27. Four things that most people think are lame but really are a lot of fun: barn dancing, charades, volleyball and sing-alongs.

28. Two cheap, easy self-improvement projects: Develop a strong handshake and start smiling when you answer the phone.

31. Physical attraction is nice, but shared values and a shared sense of humor are the real keys to lasting love.

33. The 10-minute jump start is the best way to get going on a big task you’ve been avoiding. Set a timer and begin, promising yourself that you’ll quit after 10 minutes and do something else. The momentum will carry you forward.

36. Goals that you keep to yourself are just castles on the beach. If you’re determined to achieve something, tell people about it and ask them to help you stick with it.

39. All the stuff you have lying around that you’ll never want, need, wear or look at again? It just makes it harder to find what you do want, need or intend to wear. File it, donate it or throw it out.

41. Almost no one stretches, flosses or gives compliments often enough.

43. The store-brand jelly, cereal, paper goods, baking supplies and pharmacy products are good enough.

44. When you mess up, ’fess up. It’s the fastest way, if there is one, to forgiveness.

46. Be truthful or be quiet. Lies are hard to keep track of.

49. Whatever your passion, pursue it as though your days were numbered. Because they are.

You can listen to the song here.

All she wanted was a baby to hold
She’s still waiting at 41 years old
Her life feels like a tragedy
And it’s driving her down to her knees

She says, “I don’t know
I don’t know what you’re doing
But I know who you are.”

It was after midnight
When he answered the phone
The doctor said his daughter
Was never coming home
Sometimes life doesn’t make any sense
Full of war and pain and accidents

He’s praying, “I don’t know
I don’t know what you’re doing
But I know who you are.”

You have a father’s heart
And a love that’s wild
And you know what it’s like
Yeah, you know what it’s like
What it’s like to lose a child.

Sometimes I don’t know
I don’t know what you’re doing
I don’t know, I don’t know
Sometimes I don’t know
I don’t know what what you’re doing
But I know who you are.

You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them. - Iyanla Vanzant , Yesterday I Cried.

Everyone makes mistakes – whether we want to admit it or not. Overanalyzing and holding on to our own and other people’s mistakes and hurts doesn’t make life any better, but instead keeps us from enjoying life and moving forward. I talked about forgiveness in this post and wrote: “Holding it in just made the pain and hurt and anger stick around – I truly found peace when I decided to LET. IT. GO. You’ll truly be letting yourself free when you forgive! You don’t deserve the added weight of bitterness and resentment. YOU, my lovely beauty, deserve to be surrounded by peace and love. Love yourself enough forgive someone else. Rise above the other person’s actions and move forward.”

The funny thing it’s pretty easy for me to forgive others, but quite difficult and a HUGE challenge to actually forgive myself. I can easily and confidently say that holding on to bitterness and resentment towards others  is bad – and robs me from enjoying life. I guess it’s just that I feel like I don’t deserve the same forgiveness. It’s crazy – and sad…and something I’m really working on fixing. All too often, rather than feel guilty for things I’ve done, I feel ashamed of who I am. The wonderful promise that I keep reminding myself is that I am showered in grace and forgiveness {more on that here}. Something I’m really working on is not listening to that small voice of shame in my head saying I’m defective, a mess, unworthy of forgiveness. Instead, I need to listen to the voice of grace saying I’m valuable, I’m free from my past, I’m forgiven. My slate is wiped clean.

Do you ever have trouble forgiving yourself? I hope you can join me in taking on the challenge of letting go of the mistakes and dark pieces of your past and running full force ahead out of grace and forgiveness. I don’t think it’s easy – but we can both do it! What we DON’T need is to sit around being miserable and feeling terrible about ourselves. We need to accept our mistakes and at the same time, graciously accept that we are forgiven and that actions don’t define us. We need to move forward making better choices and living better lives based on what we learned from the past. That’s what being a queen is all about. xo

Keeping your word, being kind to others and nurturing relationships are everything in the long run. Stay true to yourself. Don’t run with scissors.

This is a very basic thing often missed.  Being able to speak your mind and advocate for your own value in the world is one of the basic things I wish I had known more of starting out in my 20′s.  So often this is framed as offensive, selfish, you name it.  Truth is, that framing is just other people working to keep their own burden low, not having to speak as much for themselves because they’ve convinced others it is a bad idea, unless they are advocating for them. Failure to speak up means being told what to do by those that do speak up.

Tell the truth to everybody about everything. Maybe this will get you fired, or put an end to a personal relationship, but you should never be in a job or a relationship that can’t handle honesty. Love your people, and do what you say you’re going to.

Experiment, but avoid doing anything that can permanently damage you. Approach older people you admire and ask them if they would agree to be your mentors. You’d be surprised. Take care of your teeth.Make personal integrity your mission.

Don’t put off plans to do something crazy. Live on another continent. Stand for something. Don’t let the expectations of others define you. Run as quickly as possible toward your fears. Volunteer for the scariest assignments. Proudly admit that you don’t understand things. Help out someones less fortunate for the joy of doing it.

• “Joy is mind over matter” – I can’t control a lot of situations I am in, and need to choose to be happy and joyful no matter the environment.
• Waking up SUPER early to work out before work has actually refreshed me and made me feel…more awake. No clue how that is possible.
• I shouldn’t feel dumb asking for help.
• Pay attention - before I know it, I could be an hour away in the wrong direction on the metro and 3 hours late.
• Dress in a way that reflects you, anywhere you go. (NOT JUST WORK). I need to work on not looking sloppy sometimes.
• Take time to talk to the people you are around everyday. Make that extra effort.
• Put life in perspective – I have learned this week to focus on the big picture, rather than small details that slow me down or upset me.
• “Financial advice: don’t have a credit card and always invest in yourself.” -Mom heard this somewhere and told me. I really like the second part, taking an internship far from home and having to pay for a super expensive house and transportation and life are all part of investing in yourself and getting the best opportunity (the internship)
• Writing down how I feel at the end of the day is really a stress-reliever.
• I need to not be obsessive about Twitter. Stop.
• Be happy for others when they are happy.
• Re-read everything you write if you are sending it to someone. Or have someone edit for you. It’s embarrassing to send a “final copy” that looks more like a rough draft. Been there, done that.
• I have so much to be grateful for, why should I waste a second of my day feeling sorry for myself or being upset?

1. Take a walk and get some fresh air. Just seeing the sunshine is a mood-booster and physically moving your body wakes you up from your gloomy state.

2. Close your eyes and breathe deeply for a minute. Think about the best day of your life. Think about what DOES make you happy. Focus on those things instead of your funky, sad mood.

3.  Plan lunch/dinner dates with friends. My friends make all the difference in the world. Without them, life would definitely be miserable.

4. Make a list of all the things you are thankful for and then post it somewhere you see everyday. Computer screen, bathroom mirror, closet door. Anywhere or everywhere. Having your thankful list in physical locations you are in will be a quick reminder of what you DO appreciate in life.

5. Nap. Or just go to bed early. One of the best decisions I can make after a not-so-great day is just to immediately craw into bed and call it a day. The extra hours of sleep keep me refreshed and perky for the next, new day.

6. “Pretty time” - whether it’s a new haircut, getting a manicure, massage, whatever. Taking time to make your physical body feel beauuuutiful and healthy and lovely is key.

7. Make lists. Do you ever wake up and feel like your life is a ball of chaos? Trust me, writing down what you want to do that day or tasks that need to be completed makes a world of a difference.

8. Vent! Sometimes you really need to just let it out – tell someone you know and love that you are struggling and that you are just having a not-so-great day.

9. Turn up the music! I just downloaded TONS of new music on iTunes today – so very needed. What we listen to truly does impact our thoughts and interactions, so listen to music that makes you feel the happiest. Music that makes you smile. Music that makes you feel good.

10. Hit the gym. I always feel better on the days where I go to the gym in the morning. If I don’t make it to the gym before work, going after is a good way to “cool down” after a long day. If you don’t have a gym pass, go on a run or walk! Or just stretch – that also makes a difference. Your body will thank you!

11. Give back. Whether it’s spending time at a local homeless shelter or speaking to children in schools or just donating clothes to Goodwill, you will immediately feel better and purposeful. Your day will automatically be better and so will someone else’s.

12. Grab a mid-day pick-me-up. Most of us have experience a little bit of a lag after the busy morning rush – or is that just me? Grabbing an afternoon cup of coffee or tea makes a world of difference to really re-boost my energy and attitude.

13. Spend a few minutes around animals or small children. It’s actually impossible for me to be in a bad mood when looking at dogs in the park – they are hilarious! I’ve also found that I can learn a lot from young kids. Their joy is so real and so contageous…small children also remind me of times in life when things were much simpler. I always end up feeling better!

14. Unplug. Just stop looking at the computer and your phone and your TV. Forget about technology altogether. After long, not-so-great days, turning off my computer and phone is just what I need to ‘escape’ the chaos and simply just be.

15. Pray. Ask God to give you peace and calmness. Recognize that this day might not be perfect – but ask God for a strengthened spirit and attitude to move forward the rest of the day.

How do you escape bad days? Send your tips my way! xo -Andi

1. DON’T BELIEVE WHAT YOU THINK: We are naturally wired to believe that the thoughts in our heads are true. But sometimes we cling to beliefs about ourselves that simply don’t match reality. Change your attitude, and stop believing the thoughts in your head that are simply not true. Allow yourself the mental freedom and space you need to breathe and figure stuff out simply by challenging your thought patterns.

2. KNOW THYSELF: Most people who escape a quarter-life crisis do so for one reason: they know who they are and what they want. If you don’t know who you are and what you value in life, you’re going to have a hard time figuring out what is a good fit for you. Don’t sweat the details, though—this isn’t about having all the specifics of your life mapped out or a particular job title to aim for. It’s about knowing, generally, what kinds of things you want your life to be about, and then exploring the possibilities.

3. IGNORE OTHER PEOPLE: Not literally — healthy relationships are quite important. What isn’t healthy is comparison. A lot of people start to slip into crisis mode when they look around and start comparing themselves to their peers. Your college roommate is making bank, your cousin is traveling the world, your best friend just got engaged, your co-workers are all buying homes and having babies, and pretty much everyone has it all together — except you. Suddenly, you feel inadequate. Get over it. What other people are doing with their lives doesn’t matter, no matter how fun or glamorous it might seem. You have one life to live and, surprise, it’s yours — not theirs. Life isn’t a competition or a race. If you act like it is, odds are you’ll start to feel like you’re losing. Skip the drama and learn to be content. It you’re happy with yourself, that’s what matters.

4. FIND MEANINGFUL WORK: At least half of your waking life will be spent working. If you’re not doing something that matters to you, you’re going to be miserable, trapped, and you’re going to have a quarter-life crisis. The important thing is that your work matters to you — not other people. Your friends might think your job is boring, but the reality is that you don’t need to change the world to be doing something that matters. If it matters to you, then it matters.

5. DON’T TAKE EVERYTHING SO SERIOUSLY: Sure, one of the keys to success is hard work. But hard work without rest is also the key to burnout. Have fun once in awhile, and don’t feel guilty about it. It’s during times of rest that our bodies reenergize and our brains are free to dream and imagine new possibilities. Many times the first step to solving your problems is to take a step back from them. Rest, laughter, and creativity help to put things into perspective.

6. ASSESS YOUR FRIENDS: Satisfying relationships are exceptionally good at preventing quarter-life crises. The relationships you’re really going to want to pay attention to are the people you surround yourself with every day. Avoid people that attract drama and chaos, or those who are cynical, jaded, pessimistic, and unhappy. If your friends have abandoned their dreams and self-medicate with alcohol to take the edge off, you’re in serious danger of winding up just like them. If the people you hang out with are dragging you down, it’s time to part ways.

7. HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF: A surefire way to wind up in a quarter or mid-life crisis is to follow someone else’s program for your life. So don’t do that. You’re not always going to know the next step, what you’re doing, or how everything is going to work out. But if you know the direction you should be going and you’re not heading that way because you’re scared, you’re off track. If you have a vision and a passion, you should follow it. If you don’t, expect a crisis on your hands in a few years when regret sets in. Sometimes you have to take a big, scary leap into the unknown and trust your heart. If you know who you are, and you have good friends to support you along the way, you’re going to be OK.

>>>The seven tips of advice come from the fantastic Josh Shipp, a motivational speaker and bestselling author – he coaches teens through his site: www.heyjosh.com.  Along with being named a CNN Young Person Who Rocks and to INC. Magazine’s 30 under 30 list, he is launching a TV show appropriately titled JUMP SHIPP. The basis of this reality show is  Josh provides one person each week a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to live out their dreams – illustrating that the only way to experience the life you want is to make the leap. Pretty cool, right? I’m excited to check out the show and totally appreciate and admire the work Josh is doing. Enjoy your weekend! xoxo